I live at my mamaw and papaw's old house.

The dupe, which I affectionately refer to it as, is the duplex that my parents bought way back in the day before my sister was born. She spent her first years here, my brother spent his first days here, and then they relocated to good ol' Madera county. After my parents moved out, my dad's parents (Mamaw and Papaw-- from Kentucky), and some of their children, moved in.

Many years (and many smells, if you ever visited while the Brewer's lived here, especially during the holidays) down the line, I live in this cute nook of an old place, still with faded-pink bathroom tile and peeling linoleum in the kitchen. (Newly installed A/C however -- it died this summer, during the hottest couple of weeks in Fresno. That strained our relationship a bit.) Consequently, because my relatives lived here for so long, I still get some of their mail. Every month a PG&E bill comes for Mamaw, all $770 past-due. I just toss it out. I've considered writing "return to sender-- deceased (for like 10 years now)" on it, but haven't. Mamaw and Papaw were ministers, and I also get a lot of religious organizations asking for money, or Christ for the Nations magazines. For a while, and contributing to the strange aromas in the place (sorry to say), my aunt's "friend"/friend (we were never sure) lived here with her and Mamaw and whoever else. Apparently he was a gambler, because I also get weird sports-gambling mini mags with hot ladies on the cover. They creep me out a bit.

Recently, I got this little joy, which came in a light-blue box. I had ordered books for school from the internets and thought maybe it was one that came uber-quickly, then saw Mamaw's name on it and tossed it aside until this morning when I went through the pile of crap mail. I looked inside and...


Adult underwear. Disposable. Free sample. And coupon. Best piece of mail yet.